The thing is, attraction is something thats very subjective, and every person has their own tastes regarding what they find attractive and what they dont. Say what you mean, what you see the issue is, and what you want him to do better. For example, if you take two women who have many of the same qualities, the man will choose the one who is more physically affectionate because he perceives her to be warmer, softer, and more caring. You have become my very best friend and your motivation towards your education and personal life makes me proud to be your girlfriend. If you see that your ex is regretful (anxious, shy, and in pain) and has no history of going back on his word, your ex will probably change for the better. You will work very hard to earn my trust back. When he has two women at the end and is struggling to choose, he isnt mentioning that one is tall and one is short. We share subjects that impact your daily life and we primarily discuss and write about all things related to relationships, breakups, mental health, astrology and much more. Of course, Im not telling you to just keep your mouth shut when he does something you dont like, but theres a big difference between nagging and speaking your mind. That compliment could be something small such as telling him that his blue shirt really makes you notice how beautifully blue his eyes are. Its accepted that men are the ones who give women compliments, but they want to receive some too. This answer probably didnt offer much help. He has had extensive training in conducting couples therapy and is the author of Dr. Seth's Love Prescription: Overcome Relationship Repetition Syndrome and Find the Love You Deserve. For men who are looking for a bosom buddy, they will choose a woman who would rather be with him than, say, go with her girlfriends on vacation. One of the reasons he picked her over you could be because she got along great with them. No one can really explain attraction, and its not just the way someone looks that attracts us to them. She is confident, and that could be what made him want to spend more time with her. It can stop you from moving on, living your life, and bringing self-doubt into future relationships. If they feel anxious, theyre much more likely to regret their actions and work on themselves than those who arent afraid of staying broken up. It doesnt mean you werent enough. This thread is archived Some people need a taste of their own medicine to learn to respect people. Its very likely that he chose her even before the two of you broke up. So to reiterate, the reason why your ex-boyfriend chose another girl over you is that that girl was new and mysterious and made him feel stronger emotions of desire than you. It wasnt because you arent tan enough or thin enough or curvy enough. For this reason, you obviously want answers on why he chose her over you. With that, it is obvious you want an answer to why he . And what a huge amount of effort and time is needed to recover! A lot of women constantly nag, and its something men really hate. You can look at her photos and can see what her ex looked like. But unfortunately, this isn't always the case. It could be anything really, but he noticed it, and it made him pick her over you. To a point, Ive basically shunned modern dating because I can no longer handle another disappointment. If you were too affectionate or lacked affection, theres really nothing you could have done. He sees her surface traits (the things she wants him to see) and thinks that the girl will always be fun, loving, and energetic around him. Seriously, a lot of people have been there. He would have chosen her whether you were in the picture or not. You probably know a girl who constantly talked about how handsome her boyfriend is but when you finally got to meet him, you didnt think he was, and you even wondered what she saw in him. Understand that the need for a man to be in society and to show himself in every possible way is inherent in nature. You make me laugh and smile until it hurts. Pain and anxiety give people the push they need to work on themselves. Answer the questions in complete sentences. For a "superior" woman, you are quite mean and petty. Envy Some choose their affair partner out of envy. I hate to say it, and I truly despise having to admit it, but parents do play a huge role in many mens decision to marry. See what men think about choosing between two women, and how to pick the one who is right for you: Dr. Seth Meyers is a licensed clinical psychologist, author, and TV guest expert. Remember that she is a person too, with a life just as full of joys and tragedies as yours. Should you be angry? why did her chose her over me. See a therapist if you can afford it because that would be a great thing to do. It not only feels like a punch to the gut off the bat, but once you sit with the reality for a while it is worse than a regular rejection or breakup. To do this, always remember to practice assertive communication. She opened up to him, helped him open up, listens to his fears and secrets, and never judges him on anything he shares with her. Just consider whether you would prefer spending time with a person whos constantly saying negative things about themselves, or a person whos always positive. If it wasnt for her, we would have gotten back together like so many times before, and I wouldnt have ever gotten over him. You want those you care about to care about you too. The truth you need to hear, How to stop loving someone else and start loving yourself more. Incensed social media . Wondering why he chose her over you can take over your mind. It's not a question of whether it's going to happen it did happen. With that, it is obvious you want an answer to why he chose her over you. The truth is that things are far from normal. Our vision is to become a supportive community where youll feel that theres someone out there who gets you, supports you in creating and keeping strong bonds between your families and friends. If you were paying attention, he clued you in as to the nature of his character in the first few weeks. Its not easy going through a breakup, so you should take some much-needed me-time. This is because hell badly need to be with you to be happy and wont care how long it takes to win you backas long as it does. Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, well be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life. If you have feelings for your ex and youre having a difficult time deciding if you should be with him since cheated on you and left you, try to put your feelings aside for a minute. Broken men marry broken women. Relationships may be portrayed that way in movies and social media, but healthy relationships dont stay that intense. Mr Browne's September Precept is about whenever he is given a choice to choose being nice to someone or being right, he will choose being nice over being right. You'll notice the qualities we encourage you to develop on Girls Chase, like: Good fundamentals Choosing this type of AP is particularly confusing for the betrayed spouse because they can see the abuse and it makes no sense why their mate would hook up with an abusive AP. So if the man tried to find himself and he left you for another woman, hes not the only one! Having them around you will only remind you that hes not there too. What went wrong in your relationship with her? Why did he choose her over me? At first, it was easy to ignore or downplay my boyfriend's drinking. The girl hell choose will be the one whose actions match her words when it comes to letting him have his freedom. Thus, chose means to have picked something from a selection of options or to have decided on a course of action.Synonyms for chose are opted (for), decided (on), picked or selected. If you handle it this way, youll easily be in the top 5% of the population who dont seek validation from an ex. At the end of the day, he is looking for someone who provides the best fit with respect to the categories above. Its just a fact of life. It wont give you something to fix or focus on or pick apart about your body or personality, but thats the way it is. You dont want to publicly humiliate yourself, so save your negative feelings about him for yourself and your friends and family not the whole world. Both determined to fight for what they want. Our website services, content and products are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Good friends will stick with us during good times and bad times. You're grieving for the end of your relationship. When you left me for that girl, you did what you thought you needed to be happy. The girl he chose is probably someone who always laughs, who plans dates that include activities that are thrill-seeking, and he knows that they will have a blast whenever they spend time together. It just means that a couple has gotten through the infatuation phase and that theyll no longer be able to rely on their initial excitement for the success of the relationship. " Romans 9:22-23 is the Bible's most ultimate answer for why God does what he does in choosing one and not another.". Sometimes, it really just comes down to timing. In general, men love to be touched. My Ex Is Drinking/Partying After A Breakup. You got involved with a man who had teenage children, that was your choice. Its not that he expected you to compliment him all the time, but if you almost never gave him any compliments, it could be the reason why he chose someone who does. 3 months and more timelines]. Men are scared of losing their freedom because of their relationship. Think of the show,The Bachelor again for a minute. Many wives hope that once their husband decides to choose them over the other woman, the path to healing and saving the marriage will be immediate. Lifestyle value: traveling independently vs. traveling together. Top Reasons: Why did he choose her over you. It became a responsibility he doesn't want. Value Fit What value do you provide to her life. I heard through the grapevine he was still drinking and upsetting her and she called time too - but then he actually sobered up and has been for nearly 2 years. He is remembered as the chosen King of Israel and the man after God's own heart according to the Bible. And yes, theres a chance that he might grow up and mature over time, but this is only a chance. The truth is that their reasons for choosing the other woman actually (somewhat) make sense at times. It can stop you from moving on, living your life, and bringing self-doubt into future relationships. What You Need To KnowThis is an age-old question that women ask is "Why did He Choose Her Over Me?" And you may even be saying to yourself, he chose her over me and there's nothing I can do. You pick me up when I am down. After all, I also need care and attention. Let me tell you something that will help you if he chose her over you. Maybe your shared affection styles are exactly the reason why he picked her over you. Let's say you're casually dating a guy, then find out via social media that he is now in a relationship with the other girl that he was seeing at the same time. The guy finally discerns that the new girl has bad traits too and that those traits are much worse in comparison to yours. If I did this to you and was this fickle, would you trust me right now? He becomes the mighty man of God who destroys the enemies of God. On the flip side, focus on what you love about yourself. Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window), Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window), Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window), Click to share on Telegram (Opens in new window), Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window). Theyre abnormal because the guy has put you through hell and created fears and uncertainty that only time and proof of change can resolve. The conclusion is that even if you look a lot better than the girl he chose, she clearly has something that he finds attractive. The reason why he chose her over you is, in part, because he feels that she is compatible with him in the affection department: She is someone who is physically affectionate; she touches him. If a guy chose another girl over you, you have to understand that he forgot about the things you did for him. Its very likely that a relationship will be successful when his friends and his girlfriend get along well. Maybe hes realized that hed taken you for granted and that he must now prove his worth to you. So, if you forget about your life in order to make him happy, it may spoil your relationship. Your email address will not be published. But you really need to resist the temptation to stalk him and her in cyberspace. The relationship might not have been as good as you think it was. Perhaps he was ready for marriage and children, but youve only just started your career and want to dedicate yourself to it. It shows whether a person is committed to improving within and if hes set on doing his best to win your trust back. With that, it is obvious you want an answer to why he chose her over you. Compassion and kindness. Over time, addiction changes the chemistry and function of the brain, robbing the user of control and thus taking away the possibility of choice. Just because he had that feeling with someone else and not with you does not make you any less amazing. Woman meets guy and he seems to be everything she wants either because she has illusions, or because he hypes himself up, his actions don't match his words, and talks about things that he may very well believe at the time but he quickly forgets or he overestimates the level of his interest . The difference between the two is enormous as one means hes realized your worth and the other that hes come back for himself out of boredom and convenience.